someone today emailed me and ask me to refrain from cursing on other people's comments on facebook. this person isn't my friend in real life or on facebook but we have some mutual friends.
anyways, my initial feeling was "f you". you all will be proud of me because i didn't say that. (well most of you; a few are probably disappointed.)
it seriously surprises me that people think that this is a problem. i mean i can see if there are kids involved, or even if the word is said in person. but on someone's fb page? like, what is going to happen to you when you read it? will it make you stumble? i really don't get it. but there are probably a lot of people that are offended by it and as much as i like to stir things up and cause controversy, i truly don't want to offend anyone.
anyway, i told this person that i would respect their wishes. they ask if i was a professing christian. i'm assuming to explain how i shouldn't talk like that because the bible says so or something. when i was faced with that question i really didn't know how to respond. i love jesus! i love him so much. only because of my own life and my own experience. i don't know what is right for everyone else. i definitely want to find more of him. i even want to submit to other people i trust and learn more of why and what i believe. but i'm so hesitant to say i'm a christian because of the wide scope of possibilities that this could mean.
i'm still saying i'm a christian because i am. it's stupid to say that i'm not just because of what this could mean to someone else. i should only make a profession for or against christianity for me and god, regardless of anyone else. and despite the cringing inside of me at the thought of all the things that "christian" could mean, it means something beautiful to me. it means jesus is my hero; that i want to be like him... not who everyone else thinks he is but who i believe he is.
anyways, so i'm a christian who says the f word.
7 comments:
I'm pissed. I can't explain rationally why, but how does someone get off saying this?!?! WTF
Wow. Just...wow.
Elissa, my dear, you are filled with an inexorable amount of grace. I should take a lesson from you. I love your post. I love your precious humility.
But honestly? How an individual is to equate one's christian walk to whether one swears or not (if that indeed was the inference) is beyond me. I find there are many times when a good old-fashioned "damn" (as C.S. Lewis was known to say) is exactly the thing needed. And from my readings, it seems that the majority of the men whom christian's emulate as being "fathers of the faith" (Martin Luther, Jesus, Paul, Lewis, to name a few) used very choice language at times.
And while I agree that we should be careful not to offend others, I think people need to be careful when defining "offense" and "christianity." We don't live a MORALISTIC RELIGION, where moralistic behaviors dictate how "saved" you are. We live in a living, breathing, life-empowering relationship with a God who (in my opinion) is much more bothered by pride and selfishness and gluttony and gossip than swear words. I think the danger lies in catering our moralistic behaviors to that which is dictated or approved by others (remember when rock music wearing hats in church used to be seen as "rebellious"). When truly, everything we do should be dictated by the glory of God.
How we use our words should be edifying, yes. Absolutely. And our words should be chosen with intent and purpose. But is a swear word truly offensive when used in the appropriate context? And what constitutes a swear word anyway? Bollocks is offensive in England. So is bloody. Neither of them seem to be much issue over here. And for that matter, for years coffee was believed to be a sin over in Denmark among the church, so everyone drank alcohol instead. Go figure on that one!
Okay...enough of my rant. I'm not trying to be offensive. And I think it's the bigger man who humbles himself enough to refrain from offending a brother's sensitivities where possible. (I just think that sometimes people's religious, moralistic, sensitivities might need to be offended for the sake of finding more freedom in Christ.)
Wow. I'm a pastor. And I've just given a rant on why swearing is not a sin... :-)
you guys are sweet... i was talking to my step mom about this and she had a good point... although she agreed with the heart of my post, she explained to me another perspective. i'm always open to other perspectives. she said that a lot of people from her generation have an actual physical reaction to the f word. she said it is grating to hear or even read the word. it actually makes her uncomfortable. this has nothing to do with morality; it has to do with the way a lot of the older generation was raised. she doesn't think it's wrong at all; it just negatively affects her.
that doesn't take away from how outrageous it is to relate this to one's christianity.
Elissa-
I understand that someone judging whether you are a christian or not on using the f-word is rather ridiculous. But I also agree with Debbie, it can be offensive to some, older generation or not. Of course not me, lately it has been a word of choice:)
Sometimes people just need to tab away from the page and take a breath. Asking a question or commenting on a post isn't always the best thing to do. Fb has the tendency, much like a text message to come across in a way not intended. Maybe that was the case with this lady...although F can't be taken in too many ways lol. I have learned this the hard way-keeping my mouth shut when offended, to a certain extent and depending on who is the offender, is the better choice:) But curse away honey, I won't judge you! I know who you are!
XO
thanks kelli your a dear... today i got something special... thank you so much... xoxoxo
I really like what Mary said. Through and through and I agree. The only other thing I want to add is...
I refrain from swearing around children or typically in groups of people I don't know because I am trying to be sensitive for the reason that sounds like your step mom was describing.
But I have a really hard time with the judgment in an open forum like FB. Especially when it's coming from someone you don't know. (Please dear god tell me it wasn't someone on Skylana's page)
This just seems outrageous to me. Wouldn't it seem more logical if you were that person to just skip over any comment Elissa makes in the future on this mutual friend's page?
I still wish they said this 'out loud' to you in the thread so that an actual discussion could arise with them. oh, man I'm still really bothered by this. oh well.
Well I guess whoever has no sin should throw the first stone right...? I'm out... and so is pretty much everybody I know. I guess there would be a few people out there, unfortunately most of them might get ruled out on the fact that being a biggott is probably worse than cussing. I love when people try to tell me I am a bad Christian... Damn, if i was a good one than I probably wouldn't need a savior right? I take comfort in knowing that it will probably always be easier to please God than it will be to please most of His people. Thank God...! Right?
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