really?
i got into an interesting conversation with someone today regarding "happiness". i'm curious to learn what my readers think about this. is happiness a choice? if we think happy, choose happy, and send out happiness into the universe will we be happy? i know a lot of people think this so i'm curious to know the reasoning behind it.
i don't seek happiness. i couldn't care less about it. it is so fleeting and seems sort of shallow. i'd like to have peace contentment though. but i don't think that these things are choices either. my thinking is that wherever we are is where we need to be. not that we need to be stuck, but we need to be honest. if we choose to be something that we aren't, we are just lying to ourselves. ten steps down the road i'd like to have more peace but that doesn't mean i think i can choose it now. i'd like to make choices that facilitate peace but i honestly don't think i can outright make a choice to be peaceful. it's not that simple.
whether someone believes that these things come from god, or that they come from our own conquering of negative energy, i do believe that they are attainable... attainable through honesty and certain principles... if i wake up tomorrow and i'm miserable, i am NOT going to try not to be miserable. i'm gonna be miserable. i'm gonna try to figure out why. i'm gonna make choices that may or may not help my miserableness.
haven't we all met people that are exuding this crazy, bizarre, fake, happiness? this is what i mean:
SCARY
i guess my main problem is people that are trying to be better, less fearful, less angry and more happy. it's commendable to seek to be a better person but to do it as facade for how they are really feeling is just postponing true health. what do you guys think about this?
9 comments:
(can you change the "post comment" text from white to somefin else cause I can't ever find it unless I highlight everything on the page?)
I think I understand your thinking. You're saying that although we make a choice to be happy/content, the simple act of wanting it isn't enough to see the change? It's a process, but an attainable one. I think I agree.
kind of... i'm not sure. i guess being miserable is just as good as being happy if it's honest. the most important thing is being honest.
Meg, thank you for pointing out that the post comment link is white. Every time I want to leave a comment it takes me ten minutes to figure it out!!!!
Elissa- I think contentment or happiness is a goal...I agree that as long as you are honest about the way you are feeling is important. When I wake up in the morning, I don't have control over whether I am going to have a great day or a shitty day but I make the choice of how I am going to deal with whatever kind of day it turns out to be.
I too think the simple act of wanting to be happy is not going to make you happy. You have to be the one to do it for yourself, no one can make anyone else happy. It is a goal and we have to find the ways and follow the road to get there.
ok i can't figure out how to change this bc i thought you could just click on comments and it isn't white to me... i'll look into it... in the meantime if someone can't figure it out just email me and i'll post it... elissaparrish@gmail.com
kelli... nicely said...
i feel like i can't quite explain what i'm trying to say... but i'm enjoying your feedback as i'm figuring it out.
for me, i feel like peace follows happiness and not the other way around.
you cant have peace inside unless you search out and find what makes you happy, and strive to attain it.
little things add up to big things in this regard.
small moments that happen around you that bring you joy...taking that moment to allow it to register and sink into your soul. sometimes we are so programed to go go go, we forget to keep this component alive in our lives.
its something we have to consciously work at, in order to eventually reap the reward of effortless peace inside.
we here it all the time "live in the moment"!...focusing on this principle is the best way to feel happier in the end, i believe. its definitely harder than it sounds- but then again what in life that's wonderful, comes easily? not much.
everyone's happiness meter is different and so we have to be the judges of what to let in and recognize as "soul fillers" if you will.
this is the elusive trick to a seemingly simple concept.
this is where honesty fits in, i believe. you have to be willing to be honest with yourself and your true desires in order to figure out how to identify those instances in life that truly inspire happiness inside of you. you have to be willing to listen to your own heart in order to find your own unique "happiness key". the fake people as you put it, give into societies demands (i believe) about what it means to be happy, ending up with that plastic smile that woman on your post is wearing so well. generally speaking, these people are only giving off the image of being happy, because that is what is expected of them and they are unable to deviate from that expectation. this only sets up a road of internal disappointment for them, hence our ability to look at them and instantly recognize just how fake their "happiness" really is.
p.s. i don't know you at all, but i read skylanas blog and so i recognize you from there. hope you don't mind my intrusion in your blog today.
So are you more bothered by the fake happiness than the fact that people want to attain it?
jessica, i appreciate your commenting of course! yes, i remember you being very angry a couple of months ago at my conservative comments on skylana's blog. (comments i stand by and have enjoyed talking through with her)... glad to see you here... on to my post.
WOW! you keyed right in my issue. for some reason i haven't been able to word this and you did it perfectly. this is EXACTLY what i have been trying to figure out:
"you cant have peace inside unless you search out and find what makes you happy, and strive to attain it. little things add up to big things in this regard.
small moments that happen around you that bring you joy...taking that moment to allow it to register and sink into your soul... this is where honesty fits in, i believe. you have to be willing to be honest with yourself and your true desires in order to figure out how to identify those instances in life that truly inspire happiness inside of you."
thank you... this is perfect...
the search is for what brings happiness, peace, and contentment... not for the actual feelings...
i know exactly what angry comment you are talking about. :)
im glad to hear u say u stand by what u said, because otherwise u would be too boring :) jk!! but not really...
lol
i love discussing topics that are controversial with people who can handle it. i know for me, i sometimes have to remind myself to calm down and breathe, because a discussion is nothing more than a pointless argument if tempers aren't kept in check when differing values and opinions get in the mix. and pointless arguments don't teach anything to anyone. blah.
anyhow, im glad i was able to offer some insight on your post topic and that you liked what i had to say yesterday.
we are all wondering along together in this life seeking out what brings us real happiness and peace. its human nature. :)
hmmm, I am going to try and leave a comment without reading all of the other comments. A friendship that I made this year comes to mind. I became friends with this adorable girl...we were two weeks apart in our pregnancy and so bonded over everything that was happening. K, that is really beside the point. She was so unhappy and I really couldn't stand it. But I kept asking myself why it bothered me so much. I have unhappy friends that I adore and would spend a million hours being depressed with. Misery can be romantic. So, what was different with my friend? I guess her motto (of course unintentionally) was misery loves company. She wanted me to be unhappy with her and rejoiced (it felt like) when I had a hard time. (I really hope this is going somewhere). I don't think I would have minded her unhappiness much if she wasn't constantly jealous of my happy times. I would not rather her just choose to be content or happy...My dad used to tell us "choose the fruits of the spirit" which frankly pissed me off. A tree does not choose to bear fruit...it just does. If a tree does not bloom, it is not constipated, it is dead. So, I guess I don't believe we can "choose happiness." On the other hand, we can focus on shit that will make us unhappy. If I am constantly counting down the minutes until Logan takes his next nap so that I can do my own thing...I get very unhappy. But if I simply enjoy the time I have with him awake...turn on some music, sing songs with him, dance, make him giggle, etc...then I enjoy when he is awake and I enjoy when he is asleep too! So, maybe my answer is...we can't choose happiness by pulling it out of our ass, but we can search for the beautiful things in life.
Don’t be stupid with misery. If you want to be miserable, grab a bottle of wine and go to your room. Shut the door and drink your cares away. Ha. Btw, I think you are a very wonderful person to be miserable with. I think your honesty policy is a wonderful one! One of my favorite memories was the week I spent crying on your couch.
One of my friend’s parents was so wonderful about being real. Her sister went through a horrible break up during high school, her parents went out and bought her a ton of chocolate, rented movies and told her to stay in her pajamas and cry for a couple of days. Brilliant! Love the reality of this love! I always wanted to live with them…plus they listed to 96.1…which back in the day was a really great station. K, I’ve written enough.
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