today i pulled out my guitar. it's been a while. it was nice to hold her again.
before i got married i wrote a song that i really loved but didn't quite understand. every other time i had written a song it fit into my life somehow. this song was random and i couldn't really place it. i haven't written one since. there were a lot of years where i lost all sense of creativity and passion.
well, when i played my song today it made me cry. it fit. i wrote it for now but i just didn't know it then. i'm not really big on believing in gods involvement in such small matters. i could be wrong of course, but it's hard for me to believe in it because of all the suffering in the world. when there are countless hungry and hurting, children and families, it is hard for me to think that god gave me this song. in spite of this skepticism, i felt an incredible sense of gratitude that my song touched me after all these years. it feels more like a prophecy and is so applicable to me today.
i'm slowly coming back and and as i do so, i am hit again and again how much music ministers to me. coming back isn't easy. sometimes i feel like it gets much worse and sometimes i'm not even sure if i am getting better. i'm not sure about this or much else, but there are glimpses here and there of beauty.
6 comments:
I'm so there right now. Guitar's coming out on Thursday. We'll see what happens...
I need to pull my guitar out too.. thanks for postin this made me think about it!!! strum strum strum....
I feel like in the last year, my guitar is one of the only things that has kept me sane. On those nights when I'm up till 3 and can't sleep I always end up sitting there with a guitar. Love it. I'm glad you're doing it.
I haven't touched my guitar in months. Or the piano. Ugh. But I like what you said about "glimpses." Everytime I play (albeit rather badly) it brings the sensation of getting a little glimpse, or feeling a touch, of something more. Something outside of me. And inside of me. Thanks for the reminder...
i loved what you shared. i never learned to play but i experience the beauty and passion of music everytime i sing, write or listen! (good, bad or ugly...it unlocks me.)
wow jenn... such a perfect word... "unlock"... wow...
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