bitterness

i've been thinking lately about bitterness. especially toward god. there are all sorts of extremes and a variety of slants, but it's pretty much everywhere. everyone is biased and to some degree, they are bitter.

i've been noticing that most people that are bitter toward god are not really bitter toward him. they are bitter toward people. christians. and i don't blame them. christians are the worst. and the best, but also the worst. so the last couple of days i have been doing a run down in my head of all obviously bitter friends i have. (the other ones are just hiding it.) i could only think of one of them that seems to be purely angry with god. no one else. why did god let this happen? the rest of the group have been tainted by the worst of human nature and what used to be about god isn't really about him. it's just about some douchbags that ruined god's name.

so then i thought about me. i thought that i was bitter at the people too. if someone were to ask me and i had to answer quickly, i would have said it was the people. and perhaps it was for a while. but i think i'm really bitter at god. if i was the only one left and it was just me and him, i think i would still say, "what the hell?" (while bowing reverently because he's still god.)

i hate it when songs become mainstream because i feel like they lose their power. i feel like i wrote this song before i heard it everywhere. not really. but really i did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fs51Fo9fuGM

i love it how god is portrayed as standing on a street corner smoking a cigarette. i love how the writer reverently inquires but also shows his frustration at what he feels is complete abandonment. complete abandonment. ya, he found me, but there isn't much left.