today someone told me that i look really good for having had two kids... gee thanks... "for having two kids" i look great... maybe some people would take that as a compliment but i didn't... same reason i'm not flattered when someone says my hair looks good on a specific day... what's wrong with how i normally look?
it's not like this offends me or anything... i really couldn't care less... i'm happy with myself having had kids or not... i've worked really hard... i continue to work hard and hard work pays off... it pays off for all people differently... there are a lot of mommies that have a personal best that is much better than me and vice versa... it doesn't really matter because it's not about them... it's not about anyone else, and it's not even about comparing myself to the previous, pre-kids me... it's about me now, how i take care of myself, and how i feel.
i didn't start running to lose weight and i haven't lost any. i started running because i wanted to be a better me. i wanted to feel better and i wanted to push myself. this looks different for everyone but the effort is all that matters. to some people this looks like walking to the mail box every day and making a conscious effort to eat veggies... and i don't honestly think that my mileage and diet is any better than their effort if it is their personal best.
to be honest i'm super proud of myself and what i've accomplished. i want it for everyone else! not necessarily marathon running but whatever it is that makes them better.
p.s. i'm having a really hard time keeping my chin up and i got sad news today that topped everything off... there is only one thing i know for sure right now and that's my mileage schedule...
